2008 Democratic Convention Schedule

I am BEYOND tired tonight...... but my friend Mike sent me such a HYSTERICAL email that I had to share it..... If your a Dem and offended easily (don't read) LOL

2008 Democratic National Convention Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Martin Sheen & Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA - Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:05 am CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home.

My Wish.......

So after months and thousands of pictures taken I finally got to snap a "good" picture of the boys.... For some strange reason they both are drawn to pick their nose, stick their tongue out, or jump as soon as I say..... "Say Cheese"......

Although most nights end with taking a Tylenol and sometimes even feeling overwhelmed..... I had a HUGE reminder today to enjoy every second with my children.... There's just nothing more important to me in this life other than my family.....

Have a good week all...... ~ Peace ~

Ohhhhhhh My GAWD.....

I wanna start this blog off by saying THANK GOD my Sherriffs Dept. has a GOOD sense of humor....... I was on my way back home from a show today and I turned off the "main" highway to a side road to get to my house, glanced over and saw this "woman" driving her lawn tractor.... I did a double take because I didn't see a "shirt" and there it was....... NO TOP, NO BRA..... NOTHING (except for a pair of red shorts..... I literally almost wrecked my SUV.... I went into hysterics (literally CRYING from laughing so hard) hit the speed dial # for one of my best friends (who happens to be one of my neighbors and I managed to get out the following sentence before I literally hyperventilated from laughing so hard........

WHERE THE HEEEEEEEELL ARE YOU THERE'S A NAKID WOMAN ON XXXXX ROAD!!!!!!

Finally we both managed to stop laughing for a minute and she said Mis you better call the sherriff she might be drunk and that's a main road there's alot of kids that are going to see that..... "Ok" I'll call.....

Sooooooo I call them and I started the conversation out with....."I really don't even know how to begin this conversation" The lady that answered was an absolute sweetheart and said "Well just tell me"....... So I did the best I could composing myself and said.... "I'd like to report a woman mowing her lawn partially nude"......

"Is this a joke" <-- her reply...

Which sent me even further into hysterics..... But again garbled out O NO NO NO I swear to God Here's my name, address and phone number you can call me back to verify ALL of the information......(She did) I think she thought I was inhebriated or a "kid" playing a prank...... But still she remained ABSOLUTELY 100% pleasant...and even began to joke around with me while taking the report.....

I hung up with her...... came in the house and called my mom to tell her that I had decided to move back into the city because the folks out here were just as crazy..... (Mom went into hysterics also when I told her)

About 30 minutes goes by and I get a phone call that shows up as "private" I answer and it's the lady from the sherriff's office...... The following is "close" to what the conversation was.... I was laughing so hard by her 2nd sentence that I can't guarantee 100% accuracy.....

"Hello is this Missy"

Yes it is.... Who is this?

This is XXXXXXXX from XXXXXXX County Sherriffs office..... I just wanted to let you know that the woman is a MAN....

Me- WHAT!?!?! (Uncontrollable laughter)

By that time she was laughing as hard as I WAS!!!!!! So we both finally got it under control and I apologized profusely and she said NO NO it's ok the officer that was dispatched to the location came to the same conclusion you did until he verified her (excuse me) HIS identity...

Well, I have this HUGE problem with sometimes just BLURTING out what I am thinking before THINKING about what I am saying and before I knew what was coming off of my lips I said...... How did he check "HIS" identity did he pull his shorts off?

Weeeeeeeeeell that sent her OVER the roof she was HOWLING..... (God I hope they don't tape those conversations that will be the biggest flippin blooper of the year)

We finally hung up after laughing and chatting just a few more seconds and then it occured to me.....

O GAWD I probably just TOTALLY squashed this "lawnmower man / person's feelings and it was NOT intentional..... Guys I swear to you...... I in 1000000 MILLION years would have NEVER EVER........ NEVER even GUESSED that this was a guy.....

HOLY MOTHER OF JOHN DEER!!!!!!!!!

Although I feel bad...... I just can NOT stop laughing......

Laughter......

I'm not gonna say "why" I am posting this but I'll just say some folks need to laugh more.... It's good for the soul...... I knew George (the gentleman singing in the youtube video below) for 20+ years...... One of the nicest men on this earth..... He passed away in 05.....

He taught me a great lesson..... LAUGH..... Scroll through the video til about the 40 second mark..... and then watch and listen.... I've sung this song to my kiddos a hundred + times...... They can be in the FOULEST mood on this earth and I get to the 3rd word in the song and they are laughing hysterically..... It's simply GOOD for the soul.....

Crazy? Eh maybe but laughter is good for the soul.....

Thank's for the lesson George..... I miss you~

Say Thank You!!!!!!

One of the "perks" of doing the shows I've been doing on the wknd is that I get to meet some pretty interesting people...... One of the ladies I met this past wknd was simply incredible and I wanted to share her story with you guys.... She's been a "military" wife for close to 37 years.... Her husband did 2 tours of Vietnam and he's retiring in 3 years, she shared stories with me that would bring the strongest man you can think of to tears......Not ONCE missing a beat or shedding a tear....

By the time our conversation was over I realized that I just became a better person for having the priviledge of talking to her.... and as she was walking away I said something that I *thought* should be a common courtesy and that we ALL should be saying to our Military families.... a simple "Thank You & please tell your husband that I said Thank you for protecting and serving my family".....

She stopped dead in her tracks..... turned around to me and began to cry & gave me a hug..... Which in turn.... turned me into a blubbering baby.... Here this total stranger who I had never met before that day, spent maybe 20 minutes with talking to.......was now hugging me and telling me "thank you" for appreciating their sacrifices..... I was beyond "honored" and still am to make her aquaintance..... and I'm also a little angry that more folks don't appreciate our Vets and Military.....

I really don't give two flying flips of a damn what you think of this War, Bush or Oil.... But I DO immensly care how we as a society do not appreciate and honor those that sacrifice so deeply for us..

The next time you see a vet or someone in the service, walk up to them and THANK them it takes 30 seconds of your time and it will forever leave an impression on their heart as well as yours......

Ok Fashion Experts I need your HELP!!!!!!!!

Ok I know atleast ONE of you that read this blog will know the answer to this question...... (and I SHOULD know this but I can't figure out WHO the designer is!!)

Assignment # 1,436 Take a look at the video below and tell me WHO the designer is of Joe's jacket...... (Yeah I know it's trivial) BUT I MUST HAVE THIS JACKET! LoL

First one that gets it right (I'll buy ya dinner) As long as I can afford to after I buy the jacket!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

This..... That..... and The Other......

Sheez what a hectic week it's been! (Ok a hectic couple of weeks!) and it's not even 4th quarter yet..... (May God help me) :P To start things off I now have a new "toy" I bought a "cute" lil utility trailer this week for my "shows" and it will come in handy for vacations.... Although I just may end up selling it! LoL I've had someone offer a substantial amount over what I paid for it and I'm seriously thinking about taking the $ and running...... It's an 06 Trailex (Cleveland Browns Special Edition) I should dump the sucker before the Browns end up making a total fool of themselves (yet again) this season.... :sigh:



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Next order of business...... and the most important... I just didn't want to start the blog out on a depressing note..... Yesterday was the 5 month anniversary date of my cousin Anna's death...... It was a *tough* day and with school starting up again I've thought about her alot lately.... (She would have been a senior this year) Anna..... Thank you for giving us 17 years of you..... The world was a better place while you were here and your family misses you..... "I'll see you on the other side kiddo"..... And thank you to the friends who have posted this YouTube Video of Anna, Shasta, Hannah, and Lynzie.....

There can be only ONE......

:Sigh: This song NEVER fails to get me motivated.... (for what) I'm not sure...... But everytime I hear it I am UP and feel like I can conquer the world.....

Action.........................................

Have I mentioned lately that Joe is simply the Sexiest man alive? :0)

I so love these Obama Calls

Anyone else getting 900 calls a day from Obama's camp begging for votes? I'm just beyond sick of it..... They've managed to hit my Mother In-law, and Mother and now me within 2 days..... MIL hung up on them..... Mom (well I won't tell you what mom said but the lady on the other end replied to her with "You know what I am not going to listen" and then hung up on her..... (Hey the apple didn't fall to far from the tree) LOL

Which brings me to today's "interesting call"......I didn't get angry, but boy did I have fun with them.....This poor guy went through his script and I listened and then he says "Can I count on your support"....

My reply was Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell, what kind of cigarettes does Obama smoke? The poor man had no clue and it through him totally off guard....

I-I don't know maam!

Me: I'm not a "maam" I'm a "sir"

Oh Ummm I'm Uhhh

Me: It's the hormone replacement pills the doc gave me I'm having a trans-gender surgery

Oh well, ummm congratulations.... Ummm Can I count on your support?

Me: Does Obama have any high heels?

I'm sorry what?

Me: Does Obama have any high heels? Ya know I've seen his wife's shoes and I am just not impressed.

I-I don't know maam can I count on .....

Me: NO you can not count on my support, how can I vote for a man you know nothing about?

Maam, I mean Sir what would you like to know?

Me: I'd like to know what kind of cigarettes Obama smokes and if he has high heels in his wardrobe.

Sir I don't think those are appropriate questions

Me: What? This is the United States of America, Is this how your candidate will answer tough questions? Will he oppress the people and tell them he refuses to answer simply because he deems the questions inappropriate?

:::::::Click:::::::

God I hope they took my number off their list :0)

OH and FOR THE RECORD...... I am NOT having a trans-gender surgery... Somehow I think Rob and Carl are just going to have a little bit to MUCH fun with that......