Chloey(isms) Part 2

I have this problem...... The problem is simple....My youngest daughter who is in the "bodily" form of a 7 year old has the mentality of a 20(something) year old...... This constantly creates debates within our home and recently the debates have turned bilingual (Damn Rosetta Stone to Hades and back)....

I purchased the Rosetta program for the kiddos because I feel in today's society you absolutely NEED a one up on competitors.... and you can never start to early..... My ONLY mistake was not following the program myself....

Me- "Chloey, it's time to go clean the playroom, your dolls are all over the place again"....

Chloey- Replies back in Spanish....

Me- I HAVE NO CLUE what this 4 foot wonder just said to me but I know it's not good as my oldest daughter gasps and proceeds to ask me why I am letting her get away with talking to me like that.....

Why Why Why did I sleep in Spanish class........ I guess it's time to start ME on the Rosetta program so I can keep up with these munchkins.....

Long Long Way To Go............

I don't feel like doing a long blog today..... I'm kinda just "here"........ So instead........ entertain yourselves w/ this video....... Kind of says how I am feeling...........

*Snip* *Snip*

"See, Barack been ummm talking down to black people on his faith based. I wanna cut his nuts off"

How precious is that? Good Ole "Rev." Jackson is now in the business of neutering.... (Bob Barker would be soooooo proud)

Gawd forbid that I even THINK about defending Obama, (and) that's not what this post is about..... I simply can't believe that Jesse Jackson has not super glued his mouth shut yet!

Now, in his defense (note the sarcasm) Mr. Jackson has issued a statement and a half assed errrr apology....(My comments in Red)

"For any harm or hurt that this hot mic private conversation may have caused"

Translation: That da*n Fox news, Son of a B*tch they caught me...

"I apologize."

Translation: I'm only doing this because I have to, what would Imus think?

My support for Senator Obama's campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal.

Translation: Why didn't they pick Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

I cherish this redemptive and historical moment.

Translation: I'm pissed I got caught

Seriously tho..... WHY does this man think that him saying he wants to cut someones :ahem: "nuts" off equates to a "historical" moment....

Better yet why are *we* as a nation giving this man air time on national television......

AFNI (Take Two)

All has been quiet since my last blog about these idiots............ That is until this morning........ The following is the typed transcription of the recorded call...... I am actually thinking about posting this one on youtube.....

::::::Phone Rings::::::::::

Me: Hello~

AFNI: (Automated Message and then a please hold)

Me: Switching the tape recorder on....... Thinking Cripe here we go again......

AFNI Agent: Good Morning, May I speak to Colleen Please?

Me: Colleen Who?

AFNI: Colleen XXXXXX

Me: Who?

AFNI: Colleen XXXXXXX

Me: Can you spell that please?

AFNI Colleeen X-X-X-X-X-X

Me: I'm sorry can you repeat that?

AFNI: Colleen X-X-X-X-X-X

Me: No No Colleen how do you spell that?

AFNI: C-O-L-L-E-E-N

Me: And the last name was?

AFNI (getting pissy now) I told you the last name was XXXXXXX

Me: And can you spell that again please?

AFNI: Maam Is Colleen there?

Me: Define "There"

AFNI: Is this Colleen?

Me: No, would you like to talk to her?

AFNI: Yes Maam, call her to the phone

Me: Can you say please?

AFNI: Is this Colleeen?

Me: What's your name?

AFNI: My name is not important, Is Colleen there?

ME: Bless your heart, YOU are very important and so is your name!

AFNI: Maam I don't have time for this is Colleen there?

Me: Would you like to speak to her?

AFNI: Yes

Me: Say Please?

AFNI: (mumbles something that I can't understand)

Me: I'm sorry can you repeat that

AFNI: This is ridiculous

Me: Yes it is.........

AFNI: I think your Colleen

Me: No maam that's not the name on my birth certificate

AFNI: (Reads Miranda (debt collector blah blah blah)

Me: Am I under arrest?

AFNI: You may be maam, you have a balance of 1, 493.22 how would you like to make that payment?

Me: Why am I under arrest and why do I owe you 1400 dollars? Do you have furry hand cuffs?

AFNI: (pause) You can't not pay on your bills maam and expect to get away with it

Me: What bill did I default on?

AFNI: How would you like to make your payment maam?

Me: What's my Address?

AFNI: (reads an address to me that's 40 miles away)

Me: You do understand that I am not Colleen don't you? And that I have told your agency on several occasions that I am not.

AFNI: Oh your colleen

Me: I am huh?

AFNI: Yes Colleen

Me: Can I have your registered agents name please?

AFNI: My what? (then silence) and then I hear her say "THIS IS FRUSTRATING THE SHIT OUT OF ME"

Me: I quietly laugh (but you can hear me on the tape) I couldn't help it!!!!! ROFL

AFNI: Why are you laughing

Me: I (laugh) can't help it

AFNI: This is not a laughing matter maam, this is serious we can garnish your wages from XXXXXXXXXX company

Me: (I'm really laughing now)

AFNI: (mumbles) you've got to hear this, this woman is laughing

Me: Oh you've gotta stop I am gonna get the hiccups PLEASE PLEASE

AFNI: Maam I have no choice I- I - I am going to refer this to our legal department

Me: Is the attorney handsome?

AFNI: What?!?!?!

Me: Well is he? Or is it a she?

AFNI: I- I dont' know

Me: You don't know who is in your legal department?

AFNI: Maam how would you like to pay your bill today?

Me: It's not my bill....... Do you like Def Leppard?

AFNI: WHO?!?!?

Me: Def Leppard..... You've never heard of them?

AFNI: Maam are you, are you on some type of medication?

Me: Why Yes, Yes I am.... I take Ambien CR How about you? Do you sleep well at night? Can we talk about those furry handcuffs again?

AFNI: Is this Colleen?

Me: Do you want it to be?

AFNI: (muttering) something but I can hear the word CRAZY

Me: So ya think I'm crazy huh?

AFNI: Ummm No, No maam

Me: Know what I think? I think you just wasted almost 5 minutes of your collection time with someone who has repeatedly told you that I am not Colleen XXXXXXX and I also think that your skip tracers should be FIRED

AFNI: What?

Me: I'm sorry but I have things to do today so my play time with you is over, have a good day...

AFNI: Maam? Maam?

Me: :::::::::CLICK:::::::::::

Logic.....

I was emailing a friend today over a problem involving "lack of communication" I was typing away and all of a sudden it hit me.... My gawd that's GOOD.....

The sentence was.....

You can't put your head in the sand when you have bombs going off around you and not expect your ass to get hit a few times....

Anyone know where I picked this one up?!?!?!?! I'm *thinking* it was probably something my mom or grammy has said (as it sounds like both of them)

Wait.......... Does this mean IF it was an original thought that I've turned into my Mom and Grammy? But then again is ANYTHING (really) an original thought? hmmm something to "think" about........

:Sigh:

Totally Un-related to the rant above...... I read today where a Cleveland Ohio girl died after receiving a round of the "new" cervical cancer immunizations...... Ofcourse the makers of the vaccine have gone into "It's NOT our fault" mode.... I just wonder if they have seen these articles....

http://www.dbtechno.com/health/2008/07/08/cervical-cancer-vaccine-gardasil-linked-to-teen-paralysis/

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/07/07/cervical.cancer.vaccine/?iref=mpstoryview

Now if you really want to get pissed off...... Take a look at this one......

http://www.gadsdentimes.com/article/20080628/ZNYT04/806280332/1019/NEWS01

........Hancock........

I've been waiting for this movie for months.... Will Smith is probably 1 of my top 3 favorite actors....... He's just absolutely hysterical and I love the guy....... His last movie "I am legend" kind of left me "depressed" It just wasn't his typical "movie" and I HATED the ending ....... So I was praying "Hancock" would NOT be the same.....

Thankfully it wasn't and it rated a 8 out of 10 on my "movie scale" In other words..... I loved it.........

If your out and about and have the choice of seeing this one or the new "Branjelina" movie..... My vote goes to Hancock....... (Yes, I've seen "Wanted") and it wasn't half as good as this one........